What is UP?

or better yet, which end is up?  Man!  it has been a time...and can I say, I'm praising God for it. But I'm sad I haven't been blogging it.  So in recap.  David went from employed to unemployed, story of so many...sadly.  BUT this has brought me (all of us) to such a deeper understanding of truly trusting Him with EVERYTHING!  

I say this knowing that things in life, circumstances can be/could be way worse, but I praise Him for the time, the season, the pain right along with the joy.  The other night I was crying in bed talking to a half awake Dave...I just was not understanding God's purpose in something much too painful to share in a blog.  When will it end?  How is He being glorified?  What in the world, His world, allows this to make sense?  I get in these funks, I know it is times of just anger or even anguish & questioning God & I don't like the funks, but they happen where I'll eventually cry myself to sleep, but I also think I sometimes need to wrestle through to get to the point where I will again lay it down before Him.  Wow, too much info for a blog...again!  can you say tangent?

So my point was that I still struggle in trusting Him with EVERYTHING.  I know things could be way worse, although there are times when we all think no one has it as bad (hmmm...so not true), & I'm learning to trust in a new way!  

God has given me the 2 BIGGEST blessings for this season & they bring me BIG joy!  The kids are growing like weeds.  Sette is without a binky & now rides a big girl bike (with training wheels :).  Bright started walking about 1 week before turning 15 mo. and I have to sadly report that we did not catch it on video like we caught Sette's first steps.  He would take a step or 2 & then go back to crawling for weeks whereas she waited until she was sure that she was stable & took her VERY first steps right when she first started walking....at 15 mo.  Yep, my kids walk late!  BUT it's all very exciting regardless.  The two of them now chase each other & hug & put arms around each other & just stand together....it's so beautiful!  I do have footage of all this, just not any to show right now.    

Which brings me to the man of the house, the video man.  Or maybe I should call him the busy video man.  Thank the Lord for the busy, but wow, can't even describe it.  Mr.-I-go-to-bed-early-&-wake-early now really does burn that candle at both ends & all the time in-between.  It's amazing that God has been providing through this, & we are both amazed that we have tried our best to live as it says in Proverbs not to be lazy but to do our part.  All that brings me to another lesson learned.  I am so proud of Dave & his God-given talents & love him more than he could tell ya'.  Even when Dave has poured himself into a project, it might not receive the response I think it deserves.  Well, one day a dear friend had to remind me, "PLEASE GOD, not people."  Not one person in this world is happy with everything always.  But still we live our lives trying to please "the man", & take offense when "the man" seems displeased by our unknown efforts.  Well, this is where we've come in our short months & we are trying to constantly remind ourselves to please God...especially with Dave's work.   

God has been blessing us, we are learning how to live generously with all that we have, at least I hope we are...but if I can attest to His provisions for us, He surpasses all that I even think I need (now, don't be thinking I get everything I want or think I need, but He sure shows me what I do need & then provides it in a real, remarkable way).

The kids...back to the kids...I knew I needed to get back on this blog when one day we were all in the car on the way to a meeting with one of dave's potential clients, while dave was very much in pain & on some hefty painkillers prohibiting driving.  The kids were growling at each other (a fun new game) and there was an obnoxious Veggie Tales song playing some tune Sette knows all the words to & Dave was trying to talk to me about his meeting.  At one point, he got really frustrated with the noise and the pressure and the pain & just said, "I can't think."  And almost in response the kids got louder & started to enjoy their growling game even more.  I started to laugh.  David did not.  I said I was sorry, but to myself I thought when we think about it later, it'll be funny and hopefully it will be a story for "when daddy started his business".  Just to give a clearer picture, Dave was all decked out in our messy car, stiff with unknown neck & back pain, with our dirty kids & me in my dead mommy clothes getting ready for Dave to impress a man who arrived in a BMW.  Anyway, we dropped "daddy" off early & said we wouldn't be far but would wait a ways off so he didn't have to be seen getting into our car afterward.  Again, so funny to me.  When the meeting was over, Dave hobbled over to the car, I would have come to pick him up, but he must have spotted us & thought it easier to just walk in pain.  The story does have a point.  God provided.  We still don't know if Dave has this potential client or not, but all the misery (or what seemed like it at the time) can become a beautiful part to His plan.  It's a beautiful part of our story in that we were fully trusting God in this day, in David's preparation, in our realistic expectations of ourselves, & in the outcome of this meeting.  That probably doesn't make sense to anyone but me.  All I mean is that if we are working for Him, He'll decide what to give, what to withhold & how to teach me.  Goodness knows, I'd love to just go to a classroom lecture one of these days on all the things He's trying to teach me/us.  Which brings me to learning how to listen...but that is another story for another day.                

Lessons in the learning:

1) Trusting God with EVERYTHING

2) My 2 babies on this earth are pure blessings from my God (also see #1)

3) Please God, not people (see #1)

4) Live life generously with Everything! (see #1)

5) I am living His abundant life & beautiful story for my life now!  When I'm finally trusting Him, there is no need to wait trying to figure out His plan. (definitely see #1)

Confused after reading my entry?  welcome to my world :)

Cheerios should pay me!

I asked Sette to give Bright some more Cheerios while I was doing the dishes. Enough said.

Holy Cow...they've changed so much!

Where have I been? Bright is a crawling machine & now stands up wherever he can get a grip. Sette Sette is reasoning & talking through everything, not to mention, remembering everything including the things I've promised days ago. I cannot believe that I let this much time pass in my blogging but I do hope I can get back into it. I skipped all of October & most of November. If I could remember anything from those 2 months I will definitely share it, but it was a blur.

So here goes. I know Bright has had Croup too much & I'm not a fan. He has also blown my hopes of easy teething. We've been working on his two front top teeth for weeks & weeks, maybe since I last wrote & he shows signs of only one of those teeth possibly making it through anytime soon. He's told me in the wee hours of the night, that is all he wants for Christmas. Me too!

Sette has grown in ways I had never expected. Last night while tucking her in, she responded to my "I love you" with an "I love you so much too". This isn't the first time, but it still gets me with her warmth & hugs that accompany those words. She is constantly surprising me with her knowledge of this or that & has far surpassed my hopes for her in her second year of life.

In the midst of all the good things, she is born with that same sin nature we all have. She has found in the last 2 weeks that Bright may not be so "sweet" anymore. Jealousy had reared it's ugly head in a few random hits or pushing him down or even stealing his toys. I knew it would come, but had hoped it wouldn't be now when all he wants to do is play with her. I think she thinks she will always be the only one who gets spanks for disobeying or has to do timeout for hitting or throwing fits. I'm pretty sure she sees him as the golden child & has decided she much rather he be reminded that she is, in fact, bigger than him & suffer the consequences. I'll keep talking to her & reminding her that she is my big girl & I love her so much, but that Bright is still really little and not a big girl yet like her...I'll worry about the girl/boy talk later! KIDDING...it was just funny to write.

I hope you enjoy these pics that show just how much they have changed & grown. It really is going TOO fast!

Enunciate!

I was making lunch today & had sat baby Bright on the floor of Sette's & his room to read a book. While I was slicing away at an apple I could hear Sette reading "Goodnight Moon". She must have been having trouble with baby Bright paying attention because I heard, "Bright - Ton" in a stern, yet rather perfect way. The 7-month-old must not have cared, because she kept calling him by name trying to inform him that she had a job to do while I was making lunch. The handful of times we've actually called him by his full name must have stuck with the little teacher's helper as she tried to reign in her lone student. It made me proud, as well as shocked at her recall.

On the same note, Sette loves to talk...what 2-year-old doesn't? But she has grown accustomed to enunciating quite a bit & I know she isn't hearing it from me. Her dad, on the other hand, has gotten picked on down here in the south for being such an articulate speaker. Regardless, it makes me beam with pride that my little love bucket can pick up on word uses & regurgitate them properly.

Finally, one more note. She is such a little pretender. I just love when I catch her pretending with Bright or playing with her toys creating voices & actions for each of them. Yesterday she made creatures out of Playdoh giving them names & speaking for them. Today she played with a set of toys she just got from her Aunt Abby. They were tiny Dora characters & Bright received tiny Blue's Clues characters. She had them all lined up & was feeding each carrots & other goodies. They of course followed her lead accordingly & she was quite pleased with herself. I want to encourage her so when I "catch her" I try to join in the play hoping her sensitive soul will never be embarrassed. Today we gathered her toys in a bucket & took them to nap with her. So she & the crew napped in mama's bed on mama's pillow (the only place I can get her to nap lately & not wake up baby Bright).

Crawling

Just to note, baby Bright crawled today in nursery....well, sort of. More than I've seen at home & I didn't have a camera handy. He was lifting hands & knees to move, just not in sync yet. By the time I got my phone out to use the crude video screen, he flipped over & was done trying. humpf! hopefully I'll get some new pics or video in the next couple days.

Praying for a playroom

We had a busy day last Saturday with friends selflessly helping us clean up our mess & get our house staged to put on the market. We still have to put it on...long story, but I cannot believe how much harder it has been to live without the things I thought I could. Now, most of the stuff we put into storage was no big deal, but the toys & the baby Bright depositors....ugh! Sette almost made me cry when she went into her room the next day looking for her car. I followed her only to find her standing where it used to be & not knowing what to do. I then quickly showed her a toy she still had. Since then we've had about 3 additional instances of "missing toys". The places to safely put baby Bright have disappeared too, but this has only made the time he spends in the pack-n-play much more frequent. He will never be able to sleep in that thing if necessary, all he has done is play, play, play in it for the past week.

I am actually glad I've had a week to realize what I will need to do to keep the house visitor friendly. It isn't terrible but I have a checklist....dog cage outside, dog goes with us in car, throw toys in bins, make sure beds are made, hide unfolded laundry (unless I've surprised myself), make sure the toilet is presentable (boys are dirty), sweep through if necessary, etc. In the whole process, I've also realized this would be a good list to do daily regardless....shocker, right?!

So I will keep you posted on our housing progress, but to say the least, I am praying for a playroom.

Poop

Bright has been backed-up. At night he has just been crying & crying for days so Dave & I set out to un-stop the boy with a tiny suppository. The instant we put that suppository in, he started smiling. Then after several minutes, he unloaded & I mean completely let loose. After laughing through this experience, I have some fun tips for you all to keep in mind if you ever encounter a backed-up child.

Tip #1: Do not think this will be a SMALL mess that can be completed on an open diaper, on a towel, on your lap.

Tip #2: A closed diaper is not a bad idea & probably would have made this story null & void.

Tip #3: Following that tips #1 & #2 were not heeded, do not hold child over self in any way...no matter how much you think they need comforting.

Tip #4: Have a husband with a strong stomach aid in this process. Not one who leaves & exclaims he "can't handle this" & is sorry, but "just can't".

Tip #5: Have the bath drawn ahead of time & extra towels to lead to the bathroom. You may end up doing this whole process alone.