or better yet, which end is up? Man! it has been a time...and can I say, I'm praising God for it. But I'm sad I haven't been blogging it. So in recap. David went from employed to unemployed, story of so many...sadly. BUT this has brought me (all of us) to such a deeper understanding of truly trusting Him with EVERYTHING!
I say this knowing that things in life, circumstances can be/could be way worse, but I praise Him for the time, the season, the pain right along with the joy. The other night I was crying in bed talking to a half awake Dave...I just was not understanding God's purpose in something much too painful to share in a blog. When will it end? How is He being glorified? What in the world, His world, allows this to make sense? I get in these funks, I know it is times of just anger or even anguish & questioning God & I don't like the funks, but they happen where I'll eventually cry myself to sleep, but I also think I sometimes need to wrestle through to get to the point where I will again lay it down before Him. Wow, too much info for a blog...again! can you say tangent?
So my point was that I still struggle in trusting Him with EVERYTHING. I know things could be way worse, although there are times when we all think no one has it as bad (hmmm...so not true), & I'm learning to trust in a new way!
God has given me the 2 BIGGEST blessings for this season & they bring me BIG joy! The kids are growing like weeds. Sette is without a binky & now rides a big girl bike (with training wheels :). Bright started walking about 1 week before turning 15 mo. and I have to sadly report that we did not catch it on video like we caught Sette's first steps. He would take a step or 2 & then go back to crawling for weeks whereas she waited until she was sure that she was stable & took her VERY first steps right when she first started walking....at 15 mo. Yep, my kids walk late! BUT it's all very exciting regardless. The two of them now chase each other & hug & put arms around each other & just stand together....it's so beautiful! I do have footage of all this, just not any to show right now.
Which brings me to the man of the house, the video man. Or maybe I should call him the busy video man. Thank the Lord for the busy, but wow, can't even describe it. Mr.-I-go-to-bed-early-&-wake-early now really does burn that candle at both ends & all the time in-between. It's amazing that God has been providing through this, & we are both amazed that we have tried our best to live as it says in Proverbs not to be lazy but to do our part. All that brings me to another lesson learned. I am so proud of Dave & his God-given talents & love him more than he could tell ya'. Even when Dave has poured himself into a project, it might not receive the response I think it deserves. Well, one day a dear friend had to remind me, "PLEASE GOD, not people." Not one person in this world is happy with everything always. But still we live our lives trying to please "the man", & take offense when "the man" seems displeased by our unknown efforts. Well, this is where we've come in our short months & we are trying to constantly remind ourselves to please God...especially with Dave's work.
God has been blessing us, we are learning how to live generously with all that we have, at least I hope we are...but if I can attest to His provisions for us, He surpasses all that I even think I need (now, don't be thinking I get everything I want or think I need, but He sure shows me what I do need & then provides it in a real, remarkable way).
The kids...back to the kids...I knew I needed to get back on this blog when one day we were all in the car on the way to a meeting with one of dave's potential clients, while dave was very much in pain & on some hefty painkillers prohibiting driving. The kids were growling at each other (a fun new game) and there was an obnoxious Veggie Tales song playing some tune Sette knows all the words to & Dave was trying to talk to me about his meeting. At one point, he got really frustrated with the noise and the pressure and the pain & just said, "I can't think." And almost in response the kids got louder & started to enjoy their growling game even more. I started to laugh. David did not. I said I was sorry, but to myself I thought when we think about it later, it'll be funny and hopefully it will be a story for "when daddy started his business". Just to give a clearer picture, Dave was all decked out in our messy car, stiff with unknown neck & back pain, with our dirty kids & me in my dead mommy clothes getting ready for Dave to impress a man who arrived in a BMW. Anyway, we dropped "daddy" off early & said we wouldn't be far but would wait a ways off so he didn't have to be seen getting into our car afterward. Again, so funny to me. When the meeting was over, Dave hobbled over to the car, I would have come to pick him up, but he must have spotted us & thought it easier to just walk in pain. The story does have a point. God provided. We still don't know if Dave has this potential client or not, but all the misery (or what seemed like it at the time) can become a beautiful part to His plan. It's a beautiful part of our story in that we were fully trusting God in this day, in David's preparation, in our realistic expectations of ourselves, & in the outcome of this meeting. That probably doesn't make sense to anyone but me. All I mean is that if we are working for Him, He'll decide what to give, what to withhold & how to teach me. Goodness knows, I'd love to just go to a classroom lecture one of these days on all the things He's trying to teach me/us. Which brings me to learning how to listen...but that is another story for another day.
Lessons in the learning:
1) Trusting God with EVERYTHING
2) My 2 babies on this earth are pure blessings from my God (also see #1)
3) Please God, not people (see #1)
4) Live life generously with Everything! (see #1)
5) I am living His abundant life & beautiful story for my life now! When I'm finally trusting Him, there is no need to wait trying to figure out His plan. (definitely see #1)
Confused after reading my entry? welcome to my world :)
